There is no cookie-cutter way for how to split and carry out parenting duties after your settlement. The main idea is to keep a strong sense of teamwork for the sake of your children.
Co-parenting plans require a lot of coordination and a good amount of interactions with your ex. This is because even though each parent will carry out their own parenting time, they will typically both show up for their children’s school events, sports matches, birthdays and other one-off events. As such, successful co-parents can put aside their differences, engage in direct communication and remain consistent for the sake of their children and their own sanity.
If you feel like you and your ex are courteous enough to commit to a co-parenting plan, then here are some quick tips that can help you along the way:
- Agree to disagree: Setting aside personal differences is important when creating a co-parenting plan. For example, you might like to have all the pick-ups and drop-offs happen at your home for convenience. But you should view meeting halfway as a relief for not only your ex, but your children too. The same concept can be applicable to compromises you make for other child-related decisions, like selecting their school or pediatrician.
- Kindly communicate: Your different views on how to raise your children or how to navigate last-minute schedule changes will collide at times. But, it’s important to respectfully problem-solve without involving your children. Sometimes having apps to organize child-related schedule information or finances can help create more organization and less friction.
- Keep consistent: At the end of the day your goal is to provide as best as you can for your children. So, while sticking to co-parent plan, guidelines and protocols can be helpful for your ex-spouse’s schedule, the consistency can also help your children in the long run. Consistency in routines can provide a sense of security and help your child meet behavioral expectations you have.
It’s also worth noting that it’s okay to go back to the drawing board when it comes to devising your co-parenting plan. At the end of the day, you should make all co-parent with your children’s needs front and center.