Summer may have just begun, but for co-parents, this is the perfect time to start thinking about the holidays. While it might feel too early to discuss Thanksgiving or December celebrations, early planning can make the winter holiday season smoother for everyone—especially the kids.
The holidays tend to be emotionally charged, and co-parenting during this time requires clear communication and flexibility. By addressing expectations well in advance, co-parents can avoid last-minute conflicts and give children the consistency and structure they need to enjoy the season. Waiting until October or November to start negotiating can lead to stress, tension and miscommunication that might have been easily avoided had planning been a priority during the warmer months.
Making a plan
Many parenting plans include provisions for holiday parenting time, but those plans don’t always account for new traditions, travel or changes in family schedules. For example, if one parent wants to take the children out of state to visit grandparents, or if a blended family gathering is being planned, those details should be discussed and agreed upon ahead of time. Early coordination allows for calm, respectful discussions rather than rushed or reactive decisions.
Children benefit greatly from knowing what to expect. When co-parents are proactive about scheduling, kids can begin to look forward to the holidays without worrying about who they’ll be with or what traditions might change. This predictability can be especially important for younger children or those still adjusting to a shared custody arrangement. Even if the holidays have looked different since the split, children can still find joy and comfort in new routines when those plans are made with care and communicated clearly.
Summer is also a less emotionally loaded time to have these conversations. By starting now, co-parents can talk through concerns with less pressure and more focus. There’s also time to get help from a mediator or attorney if disagreements arise and can’t be resolved directly. Waiting until the last minute can leave families with little recourse other than emergency court hearings—something best avoided whenever possible.
Co-parenting during the holidays doesn’t have to be a source of conflict. When parents start early, listen to one another and keep the children’s needs at the center of every decision, the holiday season can be one of peace rather than frustration. June might not feel like the right time to talk about winter celebrations, but planning now can help to protect everyone’s time, energy and joy in the months to come.
